Ithaca is Gorges

So, I'm back. My innovative (read: crazy and experimental) panel went very well and is being written up in various publications, none of which any of you will ever encounter, as said publications are created exclusively for the hard-core James Joyce-reading public. Yes, I know some of you already read hard-core material of various sorts; that's not the same thing.

One consequence of my week away in Ithaca, New York, (whose waterfall/mountain type scenery was rather nice, I have to admit) was my complete and utter capitulation to the charms of that category of food called junk. I suppose one could say I gorged in the gorges. Yeah, I've been hanging out with nerdy academics too long. Apologies.

Like most conferences, this one was packed to the gills with receptions centered around any excuse possible. Welcome address, plenary speeches, rare exhibition of James Joyce materials (okay, that one was cool), "neato" view from the 6th floor of the Cornell Art Museum, etc. Every function in turn centers around the food table, packed with pickled this and oiled that, tasty crackers and staggering piles of cheese, scrumptious dips of indeterminate nature, copious amounts of free wine, a full chocolate section, and the "mini" category: mini quiches, mini spanokopita, mini mystery stuffed pillows of goodness. I suppose one could resist the food table. I never do.

These pitfalls formed a united front with other adversaries, only half of which I will even mention here--the visiting friend bearing a huge chunk of Ghiradelli, tasty burgers, fries, huge slabs of pizza, two nights of Thai food enjoyed in downtown Ithaca, and my own wild and unrestrained hunger after writing my paper (yeah, I was late, who's surprised by this) for 24 hours and subsisting only on peanut butter sandwiches made in my Cornell dorm room. After presenting the paper early one morning, I promptly went to the campus convenience store and bought out their supply of Baked Cheddar Ruffles and Nutter Butters (apparently, one can never have too much peanut butter) Ah, college life. I also decided it would be a good idea to stay awake on the 5-hour drive there (peanut M&Ms) and the drive back (Chips Ahoy minis) by eating. Once arrived in Boston, I carried on that Ithaca feeling by consuming most of a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos after a full course Middle Eastern feast and 3 Bay Breezes at my cousin's engagement party. Once I get going, I really do.

I bring this all up to tell you now how utterly wrecked I feel. Apparently, even when I think I'm back in college, my body doesn't go back there with me. It's rather annoying--after spending the last year or so consciously becoming a somewhat healthy eater (no non-organic dairy, no caffeine, no trans fats, lots of fruits and veggies, the barest amounts of red meat, a total cutback in processed crap), it turns out I can't go back. Well, I can, I just feel like I got run over by a truck if I do. Does this happen to anyone else out there, or are you all still living the Hostess high life? (Mmm, Hostess...back in the day, I could kill a box of Ding-dongs in one roadtrip easy)

I actually began this post to discuss organic food, which I will indeed get to next time. Until I discuss what to eat though, it's helpful to examine the other extreme. Consider this a two-parter. Before we move on to the good stuff, let's take a moment to wallow in the bad. What do you really like to eat--really, really, if your health was no option? I have at least four pregnant friends out there right now, but I know the rest of you have some good bad cravings too. Let me know I'm not the only one.