Not Exactly 60 Minutes

So I had my television debut last night (well, unless you count being shown on Sportscenter on the Green Monster at Fenway for 1.5 seconds back in 2003) and, all things considered, it didn't go too badly. I was sure that sensationalistic Fox was setting me up to look like a crazy loon who doesn't believe in doctors and self-medicates via internet herbal remedies.

This initial fear was only confirmed by the first few seconds of the broadcast, in which they inserted tiny bits of phrases in which I say things like "going to the doctor is a hassle." They redeemed themselves somewhat as the piece wore on by allowing me to speak in complete sentences. My favorite part was seeing my cute little study on screen and finding out how well operation "show all my favorite family pictures on tv" succeeded (quite well, actually!) As a bonus, my Nomar bobblehead also made it in the piece. As a minus, so did my two stuffed animals. (I really thought I got those off-camera.)

Of course, Fox managed to fulfill my pet peeve with the appearance of my first name on screen (They put an "h" in Sara), and I probably fulfilled my father-in-law's pet peeve with the appearance of my last name (since I gave my maiden one). Hey, you can't make a news omelette without breaking some eggs.

Speaking of news omelettes, did anyone else who watched find Fox's news coverage (other than that stellar health piece, of course) mediocre at best and egregiously amateurish at worst? How about that piece on the women peacefully trying to live out her live on the Cape as a psychotherapist, now exposed by Fox's minions as a former stripper at the "Naked I" in Boston? I mean, is that segment really necessary, Fox?

I was actually encouraged by the level of inarticulateness on the part of various reporters (not Cara Jones, of course, who did my piece and was super sweet to me and so will meet with no criticism whatsoever), because this opens up yet another possible career avenue to me in the PDA (post-dissertation age) --news reporter! Why not? If these people can do it, there is NO reason I can't, after minimal amounts of training and perhaps a good recommendation from Cara Jones.

The weatherman in particular was semi-incoherent. It took me five minutes of painstaking attention before I could extract the only necessary piece of information: "four to six inches of snow on Monday." On that note, it is time for me to leave behind the glittering lights of broadcast journalism, return to prosaic civilian life, and go shovel out my car.