Thursday, May 26, 2005


Do my blogs seem a mite uninspired lately? Well, that's because they are. Perhaps it's because lately I've been busy trying to decide what I'm going to be when I'm grown up. (Luckily, I've decided I'm not yet. Grown up.)

I have no idea what career to plunge myself into when this whole dissertation-daoodle is over, but I have managed to nail down a few, hard facts as of today. Those facts are a list of the things I like to do. So, theoretically, all I have to do is find a job that incorporates all or most or some of these things. So I could really use your help on this.

Okay, here are the things I like to do:

Boss people around. (politely)
Remember everything.
Work with a team.
Verbally abuse George Bush (W., that is. The old man, I have a soft spot for.)
Never write again. At least, not much.
See the big picture and know how to get us there.
Be under deadlines and pressure.
Have the stakes be high.
Rush around.
Talk to people about anything.
Watch the Red Sox.
Enjoy a good meal.
Make a difference. (forgive the cheesy motto-ness of this and just go with it)

Okay: brilliant insights--Go.

Also, what do you do? Do you like it? Is it your "calling"? Do you enjoy going to work each day (or night)? And if so, how did you know to go after that gig in the first place? Are we supposed to enjoy our jobs, or is that why they call it "labor"?

Waiting for the conversation,
your favorite unemployed PhD in-training

Monday, May 23, 2005

Indian, anyone?

Can anyone tell me if this place is for real? I need to know. I really, really need to know. (No, I am not working on my dissertation today.)

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

"Life IS Pain, Princess"

Time to allow me a random health tangent. (I was profiled by Fox News for my boldly amateurish health research, after all. See archive: February 14, 15, & 21.)

If you have a choice, go with ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin) or aspirin for those pesky hangovers. Although more studies will be done to confirm the findings, it appears as though ibuprofen and aspirin have extra health benefits.

So, everyone knows that taking aspirin is good for your heart--many adults over the age of 50 take a small dose daily. What is less known is the other possible upsides to aspirin and ibuprofen: protection against Parkinson's Disease (ibuprofen) and a lower incidence of breast cancer (in both ibuprofen and aspirin users). Given that information, there's no reason to take acetaminophen or naproxen--that is, Tylenol or Aleve, for mild pain, since an alternative exists that may actually help your body in the long run, as well as the short run of the pounding headache or aching back (...yes, we are getting old).

It's too early to start popping an Advil every day, since the overuse of NSAIDs (or "Non Steroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drugs," as this class of painkillers is charmingly known) can cause oh, you know, stomach bleeding if used too frequently. But, if you're going to reach for a painkiller, you might as well kill two birds with one stone.

Ok, that's enough big science-y words for today.

What did this post have to do with The Princess Bride? Very little. Although I did manage to pull that tenuously relevant quote. I just like it. And it's always a good time to remind everyone of that movie and its greatness.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005


THIS is why I shouldn't gloat. (See May 11 post's mention of the 2005 Yankees...something about them sucking.) Because it always comes back to bite me in the ass. Always.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Links of the Day

Just a few things I've been reading, in case you have a case of the Fridays and would like encouragement in your efforts to procrastinate at work (or home):

--Speaking of Friday, it's the 13th! Find out once and for all why people say, "I can't friggin' wait for Friday!"

--The companies who make fattening food and oversized baked goods buy ad space to tell you that fattening food and oversized baked goods aren't that bad for you. Eat up!

--This is only relevant for people living in Boston, and only for people who are as dorkily into Buffy the Vampire Slayer as I am (you know you're out there). Scroll down to the entry for May 27 under "midnite." And, yes, I am going.

--Click here for the usual idiocy from that Ronald McDonald look-alike from the Boston Globe. Then check out this comprehensive rebuttal written a couple years ago in advance of Ronald's babbling.

--I've had Quorn fajitas. And they're pretty good. Not too sure about that whole "fungus" thing tho.

--Just a bit of rhetorical humor courtesy of Check out paragraph #4 especially. After all, who wants to "run a laundry list of unfounded attacks" when you can't disprove any of them? Yeah, that's no fun.

--For those six pregnant friends of mine to download. And narcissists who want to look up their own name. (Mine's #65 )

--None of us are too busy to take a sex quiz. Note: a minimum score will be necessary in order to continue "doing it." Please report back to me.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

I'm Alive!

After so many of you have emailed to say, "Are you dead? Why no recent post?" (and by so many of you, I mean my most loyal reader, JQ) I feel compelled to reconnect with you all via a witty, carefully-crafted and well-thought-out posting. Instead, you're going to have to take the following.

I'll admit I'm feeling a little drained of late. Maybe it's spring's forceful cheerfulness (you can always blame your mood on the weather in New England), maybe it's the fact that I'm actually working on my dissertation for the first time in two years, maybe it's just my allergy medication. Whatever the case, recently my momentum has sunk faster than the 2005 Yankees, and I'm not getting paid $208 million.

Maybe it's an identity crisis. Last night, at Bukowski's, a dirty bar in Boston that people frequent because you can earn your own hanging mug after drinking 100 different beers, I found myself hanging out with a bunch of 25-year-old girls I had just met, one of whom was enthusiastically explaining that "marriage makes people boring." She backtracked like Tom DeLay in front of the Ethics Committee to recover with a hearty, "Oh, but you're married, right? And YOU'RE out!" (meaning, I assume, out on the town, not out in a The L-Word sort of way.) Later, another woman politely asked me where my husband was after she noticed my wedding ring. At Bukowski's, surrounded by the pierced, the gritty, and the unemployed, being married makes you a pariah. Or at least unusual.

On the other hand, six of my friends are pregnant. That's a lot. I barely know anyone with kids, now all of a sudden I'm about to know 12 people. At a Mother's Day brunch on Sunday, I was handed a rose along with the other mothers since my father-in-law helpfully informed the maitre d' that I was a "mother-to-be." I'm not. Except in the same way that I'm a senior-citizen-to-be, or a hot PTA-attending, 40-something-to-be. It'll happen some day, but it certainly isn't in the daytimer.

So, which is it? I am strange for already being committed til death do us part to one man, or am I strange for not making babies with that man, stat? I know the answer--I'm not strange, you're not strange, we all make different choices, blahblahblah. But still, I want to know where the other people are who are doing it like me. Trying to be married, but not dull and complacent, looking for a full, happy life but not ready to procreate. Where are those people? Because if you're around, you're coming to Bukowski's with me next time.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Save Our Show!

Since turning in my 50 pages last week, I have tried to nurse my tired mind back to full-strength with a gentle regimen of comfort food, non-taxing conversation, and lots and lots of pop culture. Unfortunately, not having cable really throws a wrench in the watch-tons-of-mindless-tv-while-eating-assorted chocolates plan, which has always been a standby for me. To cope, I upgraded my Netflix membership to the 3-at-a-time option and burn through each movie as it arrives, including every scrap and snippet of DVD extra. (Who watches the "Deleted Scenes" of Freaky Friday? I do.)

After those are used up, I have no recourse but to open the dusty video drawer and peer inside. Another viewing of Princess Bride on scratchy VHS? The umpteenth watching of When Harry Met Sally with director's commentary? My wedding video? My other wedding video? I start getting a little desperate. Making it worse is the knowledge that everyone else is at home enjoying their OC, their Alias, their 24, and those sixteen nightly episodes of Friends on the WB, not to mention they don't have to listen to the Sox game on the radio.

But then I remember my trump card. Arrested Development, the entire first season box set. Each episode is a clever, hilarious little package streamlined sans commercial to a slick 21 minutes, perfect lunch time viewing length. It is also the only show that I can watch an indefinite number of times and find myself laughing out loud every single time. This box set has saved me.

And that is why I need to do my small part to save it. Rumblings of the show's possible cancellation (in real TV land, the show just finished its second season) were intensified when the network cut their original order of episodes for Season Two, bumping the last four shows for repeats of American Piehole or something similar. We were on tenterhooks all along since said network is FOX, the crappiest network in the history of television that nonetheless manages to greenlight great shows and then promptly fails to market them. (Anyone ever heard of Firefly? I didn't think so.)

This show wins lots of Emmys for best comedy and best writing and best whatever, but no one's watching it. Yet "C-List Celebrity Loser Diet Challenge" pulls in viewers. Arrested Development also gives you guest stars like Liza Minnelli (finally finding a venue for her wackiness), Heather Graham, "Elaine" from Seinfeld, and the "Fonz."

So it's geeky, but it must be done. Go to the official website, swallow your pride, and sign the, ahem, loyalty oath. It will give you a coupon for the Season One DVD, if that helps at all. For the next level of commitment, go to the incredibly nerdy but endearing SaveOurBluths website and do what they say.

Now, if you've never watched the show, I don't expect you to jump on the campaign bandwagon, but if that's true, now is the time to start watching because you are missing out. It's funny. Trust me. Repeats of Season Two will air this summer on dastardly FOX. Buy the Season One DVD. You won't be sorry. Okay, I'll stop now. My work here is done.